Monday, April 27, 2015

Making and Wholehearted Relationships

In Reading Daring Greatly by Brene Brown a few quotes jump out at me as I reflect in particular on the chapter on parenting with a whole heart.

"Wholehearted parenting is not having it all figured out and passing it down - it’s learning and exploring together.  And trust me, there are times when my children are way ahead of me on the journey, either waiting for me or reaching back to pull me along.”

In my experience making and materials exploration invite this learning and exploring together because adults aren’t as far ahead as kids in their knowing.  Typically parents know more about a given topic than their kids so it takes more effort to get into the explorer frame of mind.  With open ended materials it’s more about exploring together.  The idea of reaching back to pull me along resonates too - I see adults find a new way to perceive art and creativity through watching their kids discover - seeing their child explore in a playful way gives the adult permission to do that too and then there is a new openness that is less about getting it right and more about being in the moment and exploring together.

Further along, she writes,
“…in its original Latin form, sacrifice means to make sacred or to make holy.  I wholeheartedly belief that when we are fully engaged in parenting, regardless of how imperfect, vulnerable, and messy it is, we are creating something sacred.” (p.238)

Brown writes about parenting ; the idea seems equally applicable to other relationships of love and care too.  Being fully engaged requires sacrifice because in a moment of full engagement, we give up our preoccupations and distractions to be fully present.  This sort of presence honors and and sanctifies.  

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